http://news.bbc.co.uk/1/hi/world/middle_east/8631775.stm
The world moves on, for most at least,
But not, it seems, if you’re a priest.
Apr 202010
Feb 072010
UK Home Secretary Alan Johnson has revealed an amazing plan to convert the traditional outcome of a typical night out in the UK – glassing – into mere denting, according to an Associated Press report. He aims to swap ordinary glass glasses for more nanny-friendly shatterproof versions.
- “British Home Secretary Alan Johnson holds two prototype pint glasses designed not to break up into dangerous shards on impact” – Associated Press
Phase two is rumoured to involve the production of non-stinging beer and splashproof tumblers. Each year, literally tens of Londoners suffer mild drink-related eye trauma due to careless carousing.
Also on the cards are blunt cocktail sticks; non-exploding maraschino cherries (the alcohol and sugar can easily be converted into semtex); and a genetically modified lemon that can be sliced without leaving sharp edges.
We feel safer every day.
Feb 022010
The head of the Evil Empire* plans to invade the UK to complain about violations of “natural law”, the BBC reports today.
His problem is with legislation designed to promote equality in the UK. As well as equal rights for Catholics, that also includes equal rights for gay people, including gay people in the Catholic church. Heaven forfend…
Jan 272010
So the name ended up being iPad. This is amusing for the confusion it’ll doubtless cause among folk who barely distinguish between a and o vowel sounds, and also because it’s vaguely reminiscent of feminine hygeine products. But for the real reason this is a ridiculous product, well… just look at it/him/it:
Clothes, emperor, new. Elephant, room. YOU’RE HOLDING THE WORLD’S BIGGEST MOBILE PHONE AND YOU LOOK DAFT, STEVE.
Either that or he’s shrunk.